Monday, we need to talk

What is the deal with Monday? I mean, really. Monday is the day nobody likes. Nobody. You don’t wake up on Monday and think, “Oh boy! Today’s Monday! I can’t wait to get started!” No. Monday is the day you survive, like a bad movie you can’t leave early.

And yet… we put all our hopes on it. “I’ll start my diet on Monday.” “I’ll start exercising on Monday.” “I’ll finally organise my life on Monday.” Monday! The one day that’s already carrying the emotional baggage of Sunday guilt and the looming terror of the rest of the week. It doesn’t need more pressure!

Why Monday anyway? It’s named after the Moon, the moody, distant celestial body. Cold. Moody. Indifferent. Yet here we are, expecting Monday to be our life coach. And when Monday finally shows up… it doesn’t last. Blink and suddenly it’s Wednesday. The diet is gone. You went to the gym once for half an hour before treating yourself to a takeaway. And by Wednesday, you’re negotiating with yourself: “Okay, next Monday. THAT Monday. The one that will actually stick.”

And Monday isn’t just a day – it’s a personality. Monday emails! You open your inbox, and it’s like being ambushed by a small army of passive-aggressive memos. “Please review.” “As per my last email.” Monday traffic! You get stuck behind a car going 15 under the limit. Monday grocery stores! Lines like you’re auditioning for Survivor: Produce Aisle Edition.

And so the cycle continues. Sunday promises, Monday illusions, Wednesday apologies, Thursday excuses, Friday relief, Saturday denial… and back to Sunday, ready to trick us again. It’s a vicious, never-ending loop.

Monday doesn’t just start the week. Monday keeps us humble. Monday reminds us that we are not in charge. Monday is the cosmic reminder that life is always a little behind schedule – and that’s okay.

So, Monday, we’re not mad. We’re just… confused. And a little hungry.

PS: It’s also nearing that time of year where we can just forget about the Monday starts and pin all our hopes and dreams on our New Year’s resolutions…